Focus on what you can control

Apr 05, 2021

This is so important when planning how you want to birth your baby. 

Your plan

Pretty much EVERYONE acknowledges that it’s important to have a birth plan. Your birth plan is an opportunity to express your wishes on paper about how you’d like you birth your baby. Given that it is your human right to birth how you feel is best writing your birth plan helps you stay focused if your pregnancy and birth journey throws you a curve ball. It helps with the ‘I’m not allowed’ junk (Yes you are – you’re always allowed but you might have to push for it)! 

So, when writing your birth plan FOCUS ON THE THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL! 

What do I mean?

Well you can’t control when your baby comes (unless you e booked in for an elective Caesarean) but you can control how you manage the expectation of your baby’s arrival. Birth is 60% mental and 40% physical. Get your head in the right space – whether that’s with hypnobirthing or meditation or breath work. Learn how best to manage your fears and expectations.

You can control your environment

If it’s your home this is obviously easier as you can ensure it’s exactly how you want it. If you’re in an MLU or hospital make sure you own that space. Fill it with your things that make you feel comfortable and safe. It doesn’t need to be affirmations and fairy lights if you’re not particularly woo woo. A pillow form home, an items of clothing, photos of loved ones, scents you love, music you listen to. Spread it all over your birth space – you may have travelled to that space but it’s yours for as long as you’re birthing your baby in it. 

Use your voice

As Julie Roberts once said “we say when, we say who and we say how much”. I’m not suggesting you enter the sex trade but it’s worth bearing in mind that you, and only you, make decisions in the birth space. So you can say when it’s ok for a midwife to touch you, for how long and in what way. At anytime, during any intervention (which is anything that someone else does to you during birth) you can say STOP and they have to stop. This is the law!

Remember you are in control and focusing on these things will help you maintain your  sense of control. 

Does this resonate with you? Want to work with me?

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